There are tons of «X Things Only *Blanks* Will Understand» lists out there, but we’ve yet to see one nail the day-to-day pains of being a girl with a long nose AND long fingernails. And so, without further adieu, here are five problems only girls with long noses and fingernails will understand!
Everyone thinks your nails are fake
Instagram haters will say they’re fake, but you literally wake up every morning with nine-inch-long fingernails. And no matter how many times you tag your posts #notacrylics #notgels, or literally chop off your fingernails on camera only for them to grow back to their nine inch length the next day, there will always be naysayers.
Boils, boils, boils! What is the deal with 12-inch noses being an ideal breeding ground for acne?! I just want to be able to take a selfie without a giant gumball of a pimple ruining my aesthetic! Neutrogena? More like Neutroge-nuh-uh!
You can never go to Disneyland
Just once I’d like to visit the happiest place on earth without being mistaken for an evil mascot. Last time I went to Disney was for my friend Meghan’s bachelorette party, and I had no less than 82 children come up to me and ask for a picture, and no less than 46 of them screamed «I hate you, Jafar!» in my face.
No one believes a hot guy or girl could ever like you
Some people can look past your nose, fingernails, and other horrific traits to see the real you. And when that doesn’t work, there is NOTHING wrong with giving someone a little love potion #9 so that they can see past those traits. You don’t see us hating on normal girls for tricking people into loving them with all that makeup! Mascara is a spell in its own right.
Finding a broomstick that fits right is impossible
Norm-girls complain about finding the right jeans, but they should try finding the right broomstick that won’t cause chafing and forever-wedgies.
Being burned alive
This is obviously the most difficult problem girls with long noses and fingernails have to put up with.
Which problem do you relate to even though you aren’t an actual witch? Let us know @Smosh!
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