Oh baby, it looks like we’re in for one incredibly crappy summer movie season! The only possible hits are comic book movies, which means movie studios are going to panic, and they’re going to go to their favorite well — the reboot. After all, haven’t all the good ideas been done already? SPOILER: No, they haven’t. But that won’t stop THE REBOOTZ, so at the very least here are some franchises I hope they keep their DAMN HANDS OFF OF.
The fact that the Mad Max movies have come over the span of four decades makes them fascinating, even if you don’t like the movies themselves. Seeing both the budget and the technological ability of each film grow, while still clearly being a Mad Max film by George Miller. That’s also why the film is unrebootable — we already have tons of post-apocalyptic media available, and what makes these particular movies so unique is the creative vision behind them.
Pirates Of The Caribbean
I understand that the Pirates movies have made an absolute assload of money, but they suck (aside from the first one, which is great, and the second one, which is… fine, I guess). This might make you think «then why not reboot them? It’s not like you’re messing with a classic franchise.» To that I say «Because life is too short to sit through any more crappy adaptations of Disney rides.»
Are the Lethal Weapon movies perfect? No. In fact, the last two really aren’t very good at all, but Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2 are so perfectly of their time, the very best of ’80s action movies, that a reboot feels like it would be crazy. There have been plenty of buddy action cop movies since Lethal Weapon, and some of them have, structurally, been better movies. But the Lethal Weapon movies are literally the very best version of what they’re trying to be, so at best, all you do is replicate a thing that’s already happened. And what are the odds?
Not only does this role belong entirely to Clint Eastwood, I just don’t need any more movies about how state-endorsed denial of civil rights by a cop with an enormous gun is a good thing.
Fast & The Furious
First, it’ll be hard to reboot this franchise because Vin Diesel will be making them until he’s dead. Second, you just know that if Hollywood rebooted these, they’d end up doing it with like an all-white cast, completely ignoring one of the main reasons the movies play so well around the world. I literally would wager money on it.
The current Marvel Universe
No. I don’t care if suddenly Fox gives up the rights to X-Men, and someone at Disney is like «What if Wolverine were an Avenger?» or some garbage — when you’re done with this characters, let them rest. Once Robert Downey Jr. is done with the character, I don’t need to see Iron Man ever again. It’s been plenty. He’s in a ton of movies. I am good.
What franchises do you hope they just leave alone? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!
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